i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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