Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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