Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
