Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
