I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just puked most of my soul out..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
