is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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