You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
