I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
