Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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