Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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