i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
