she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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