the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we should paint friendship bongs
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