Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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