it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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