He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
