I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
