but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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