hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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