In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
