Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's intense
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
