dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
