no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
