Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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