I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
