I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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