First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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