that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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