Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
