At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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