i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
