i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
