I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
