billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
