Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
