I'm really into asian looking animals
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
