this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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