yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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