I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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