My sheets look like a crime scene.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
