Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
