Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
