I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
whose ass print is on the piano?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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