you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
