woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
