and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
