i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
