Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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