can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
