How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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