Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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