You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Randomize
