The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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