I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
