Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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