I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
