My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
